A Woman Scorned

January 13, 2010 :: Posted by - Mr. Review :: Category - LMAO

What she did is wrong, but I have to admit—I like (and am a little turned on by) Carolyn Paulsen-Riat’s style. When her husband decided to leave her, she got creative with her plot for revenge.

What she did was reverse the wires on his 220-volt table saw—delivering a shock that knocked him to the ground. He didn’t suffer any lasting effects from the shock, but Carolyn was booked for investigation of third-degree assault, domestic violence, and second-degree malicious mischief. She was later released by judge let her go on her own recognizance. [Olympian via Access Atlanta via Fark]

WTF?!?!?

December 18, 2009 :: Posted by - Mr. Review :: Category - LMAO

Drunken Four Year-Old Almost Ruins Christmas (VIDEO)

Best part of this story: A 4-year-old boy gets wasted, puts on a dress, and stumbles across the block to steal Christmas presents from a neighbor.

Heartbreaking part of the story: “He runs away trying to find his father,” the mom says. “He wants to get in trouble so he can go to jail because that’s where his daddy is.”

This is, um… hilariousad?

“We’re Going crossdressing!! Up through the street and into the schoolyard! Come on everybody, come on! Snoop, Snoop-a-loop! No, it’s cool, it’s cool, I’m cool. I’m four.”

When Stars Attack!!!

December 15, 2009 :: Posted by - Mr. Review :: Category - Celebrity, LMAO

Axl Rose Makes Solid Addition To Pantheon of Paparazzi-Beaters (VIDEO)

For a guy who’s definitely been in better shape, Axl Rose is still surprisingly spry. The 47-year-old Guns N’ Roses frontman was making his way through Los Angeles International Airport last week en route to a Taipei concert, when he suddenly encountered a celebrity’s most fearsome natural adversary—the paparazzi.

Check out the video below, in which the “Paradise City” charges into the crowd like an enraged orangutan in a National Geographic special, taking down his quarry with a solid right:

Well done, Mr. Rose. Sure, it would have been even more impressive if you had done your patented snake dance before the smack down, but kudos nonetheless.

But how does Rose’s pap-smacking prowess match up to that of his celebrity brethren? Let’s take a brief look at Great Moments in Pap-Popping History and find out, shall we?

KANYE WEST

The setting: Los Angeles International Airport. On the seventh anniversary of 9/11, West launches an attack on America’s real enemies: Those who would take his picture without his express written permission.

Kanye starts out strong, but letting a member of his posse take the ultimate fall for smashing the pap’s camera strikes us as a punk move, the kind of thing a guy who would pick on teenage girls would do. Oh, wait…

CHRIS MARTIN

As the Coldplay frontman left Mt. Sinai Medical Center in New York last January with his wife Gwyneth Paltrow, he attempted to give one intrusive shutterbug an express trip to the emergency ward.

Remarkably solid—if only because Martin’s general demeanor and tepid musical output suggests that he would crumble to tears and dust at the first sign of provocation. Apply that kind of attitude to the next Coldplay album and we’ll really be impressed.

BRAD GARRETT

Everybody might love Raymond, but Brad Garrett has no particular fondness for the paparazzi. Everybody Loves Raymond second banana Garrett must have had a touch of indigestion as he left West Hollywood eatery Dan Tana’s last November, because he took a swipe at a photog who was trying to capture a picture of his pretty mug like he had just been one-upped by his TV brother for the 1 millionth and last time.

Given that Garrett is essentially a waxed grizzly bear, we can’t give him any points for bravery.

JUDE LAW

Was the Alfie star blinded by the light on that fateful July 2009 night in London, or merely taking a cheap shot at a member of the photojournalistic community? Law claimed that the incessant flashbulbs left him momentarily sightless. The photographer herself—and Jude’s expression—suggest otherwise.

No matter what your excuse, Jude, hitting women isn’t cool. Especially from behind. Even Chris Brown is wagging his finger right about now.

THE VERDICT

Axl Rose is the new king of pap-smackers—and the reigning king of our hearts.

Rihanna On SNL

December 08, 2009 :: Posted by - Mr. Review :: Category - Celebrity, ENTERTAINMENT, LMAO

After weeks of emotional interviews and promotional appearances, Rihanna was finally able to clown around on network television this weekend during her musical guest stint on Saturday Night Live, co-starring with Andy Samberg in the SNL Digital Short “Shy Ronnie.” In the clip above, watch as Rihanna and Shy Ronnie shoot a music video in a 1st grade classroom, with Rihanna using her robotic coo to tell Shy Ronnie that he’s holding the microphone too close to his mouth and alert the audience that he had in fact urinated himself. “Shoulda just paid Kanye, bye Shy Ronnie,” Rihanna sings as she exits the classroom.

In previous SNL wrap-ups, Rolling Stone has noted that the Rockefeller Center stage has been kinder to rockers than pop acts, and apparently Rihanna got that memo as the singer came to Gossip Girl’s Blake Lively-hosted episode backed by a powerhouse eight-piece rock band, featuring Extreme guitarist Nuno Bettencourt, for her performances of Rated R’s “Hard” and “Russian Roulette.” The added oomph behind Rihanna led to an extra heavy metal version of “Hard,” which featured Young Jeezy. Rihanna’s army of guitars also enlivened “Russian Roulette” as the singer wore medieval chain mail fashionably around her head. Check out the performance of “Roulette” below:


Gaming And Girlfriends Shouldn’t Mix

December 08, 2009 :: Posted by - Mr. Review :: Category - ENTERTAINMENT, GADGETS, LMAO, Sony Playstation 3 Slim, TECH

C’mon Son 8

December 05, 2009 :: Posted by - Mr. Review :: Category - Celebrity, ENTERTAINMENT, Featured Articles, LMAO

For Those Of You Without ASSets

December 01, 2009 :: Posted by - Mr. Review :: Category - ENTERTAINMENT, LMAO

C’mon Son 7

December 01, 2009 :: Posted by - Mr. Review :: Category - Celebrity, ENTERTAINMENT, LMAO

C’mon Son 6!!!!

October 27, 2009 :: Posted by - Mr. Review :: Category - LMAO

McDonald’s Monopoly Game Odds

October 26, 2009 :: Posted by - Mr. Review :: Category - LMAO, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

McDonalds Monopoly Game PieceMacDonald’s Monopoly game has started!

McDonald’s announced that this year’s Monopoly game will start on October 6th and end on November 2nd. If you go now before the game starts, you can get a pre-promotion code good for one property and entry into their pre-promotion contest.

Every year McDonald’s runs its very popular Monopoly game where you get a Monopoly property sticker/game piece with selected items. If you get all the properties in a color group, you get to win that cash prize. In addition to these properties, you can get instant win stickers as well for free Wi-Fi time, or gift cards, or McDonald’s products. The cash prizes range from $50 up to $1 million!

The secret to winning the game is in understanding how it works. McDonald’s sets up the game so that it controls the number of ten critical pieces. Those pieces happen to be the last property, when listed alphabetically, for each color group (except Boardwalk). If you get one of these rare pieces, you’ve basically won that prize.

2009 Game Pieces & Prizes

For 2009, the rare pieces (and the prize you can win with that color group) are:

  • Mediterranean Avenue ($50 prize, 2000 prizes)
  • Short Line Railroad ($500 prize, 750 prizes)
  • Vermont Avenue ($1,000 prize, 125 prizes)
  • Virginia Avenue ($2,000 prize, 75 prizes)
  • Tennessee Avenue ($5,000 prize, 10 prizes)
  • Kentucky Avenue ($10,000 prize, 6 prizes)
  • Ventnor Avenue ($25,000 prize, 8 prizes)
  • Pennsylvania Avenue ($50,000 prize, 4 prizes)
  • Golden Avenue ($100K prize)*
  • Boardwalk ($1 million dollar prize, 1 prizes)

The pieces are included on the following products:

  • Angus Burgers
  • Chicken McNuggets (10 or 20 piece)
  • Large Fries
  • Medium & Large Drinks
  • Large Hot McCafe Drinks
  • Hash Browns

The key is finding the rare pieces. You can take advantage of the Internet to find people willing to sell or trade rare pieces to complete a set (which is against the rules of the game). Websites like the Fatwallet Forums are a great resource to meet other players.

Cheapest Monopoly Game Pieces

The best value item to get are the hash browns, which cost anywhere from $0.80 to $1.00 in most stores and yield two game pieces. It may be cheaper, and faster, than sending a self-addressed, stamped envelope ($0.88 for two first-class stamps) to get the free pieces (instructions) below.

The healthiest option, if you plan on consuming the product, is probably a large coffee. :)

Free Monopoly Game Pieces

How do you get the pieces for free? You can mail away for them by sending a “legibly handwritten, self-addressed, stamped envelope with your address (first and last name, street address, city, state, and zip or postal code) to:

2009 MONOPOLY at McDonald’s Game Piece Request
P.O. Box 49189
Strongsville, OH 44149-0189

Instant Win Prizes

In addition to the property prizes, there are a number of instant win prizes:

  • Food Prizes – Medium French Fries, any Large Beef Sandwich, any Breakfast Extra Value Meal®, Small McFlurry® or Fruit ‘N Yogurt Parfait, Small Soft Drink or Small Hot Premium Roast Coffee (excluding McCafe®), and any Breakfast Sandwich.
  • Fifty Dollars – There are 5,000 of these prizes available, you get a check for $50.
  • Fifty Dollar Arch Card® ($50) – There are 200 of these prizes available.
  • Xbox 360 Game System – There are 3,000 of these prizes available, but you will only get these off an order of large fries or Angus burger.
  • $500 Shell Gift Card – There are 100 of these prizes available.
  • $25,000 Dollars – Finally, there are eight $25,000 prizes available.

I don’t know how likely it is that you’ll get a rare game piece, or a really good instant win game piece, for free through the mail, but you never know!

Good luck!